Some Good But Mostly Bad

Today has started off not so good.  Still in the bed and don't want to get out of it.  It has been a week since my last post and I wanted to let you know how it is going.  OK, I guess.  Some good days but mostly bad.  I look at myself in the mirror and think that isn't me.  I know what I used to look like (pretty hot) and what I look like now (not too hot).  I still think of myself looking like I did when I was a teenager.  I want so badly to look like I view myself, yet the food keeps winning the battle.  Still trying to start.  Have made some changes but not enough to really make a difference. 

The economy is really beginning to take a toll on our pocketbook.  Gas prices has sky rocketed and will begin to filter into the cost of everything.  Not going to help with the grocery bill.  I am just going to have to work with what I have.  I am just going to have to learn portion control.  That is a tough one.  Oh, well.  Anything worth doing.....

Battles Lost

Well, as you can see, I haven't posted in a long while.  I have lost so many battles since the time I started this blog that I can't even count.  I have all but given up.  I think everyday will be a new start until I walk into the kitchen.  I don't have to have junk food to eat too much.  I just love food.  I want to lose weight by the end of the year.  Still trying to get started and it is now April. 

I tried the Hcg supplement.  Not worth the money.  I know that losing weight isn't going to be easy, however, 500 calories a day is murder.  My daughter and I did it for 2 weeks.  I lost 12 pounds and she lost 7.  This diet isn't sustainable.  Even after losing 12 pounds I didn't feel any different nor did I look any different.  Something wrong with that. 

Looking at Diet Free For Life by Robert Ferguson.  Looks like it could be sustainable.  I'm just afraid to jump in because I'm tired of failing.  The book talks about having a positive attitude about yourself.  This is going to be the hardest of all I think.  When you have failed and failed and failed at dieting you don't have a very good outlook on yourself.  I don't know if this is the answer.  I'm tired of everything saying that it is the answer when it isn't.  All it is is another money making scheme that sucks me in every time.  Trying to take this one slow so as not to get ripped off again. 

Lots of things changing in my life.  My oldest daughter is going to graduate in a month.  Then she is heading off to work summer camp and college in the fall.  Not liking this.  I know my kids will grow up I just didn't think it was going to happen so fast.  What happened to all those years?  Seems like they just disappeared.  Oh well.  My parents survived it.  I suppose I will, too.  I just don't think I'm going to at the moment.  My son turned 15 in January and is now driving.  My youngest daughter turned 12 today.  I no longer have little ones.  They are grown, in a sense.  They don't need me to do anything for them anymore.  They can take care of themselves, literally.  They are good kids I just hope everything their dad and I have taught them sticks. 

I keep telling myself that today is the day.  Maybe tomorrow.....

Holidays

Well, the holidays are coming up.  I always seem to start some kind of diet just before the holidays and then it all goes to pot.  I plan on eating what I want just not as much of it this year.  I will have a house full of company.  Mom, grandma, brother, niece and her husband, my husband, and 3 children.  All will be staying here with us.  I am excited about them coming!  Haven't got to spend much time with my brother in a long while.  We are planning on lots of fun. 

My brother started Medifast back in January.  He has lost about 60 pounds.  He looks great!  I am so proud of him.  My mother-in-law started some new diabetic shot and has lost a lot of weight.  She looks great!  They have been a lot of the inspiration on my decision to finally take the plunge and lose the weight.  Of course, my husband and children have been the most. 

I saw an ad on TV yesterday about HCG.  I'm going on Wednesday to check it out.  I will let you know what I find out.  I know how things get all hyped up and turn out to be let downs.  Trying not to get my hopes up.  I'm sure it will be expensive because you have to be under the care of a physician.  We will see how it turns out. 

Till then...

Date Night

My husband and I had a date earlier today.  He has been working alot lately and he also helps out with the local football team.  Needless to say he hasn't been home much.  We had opportunity to spend the afternoon together to so we took it.  What did we do?  Eat.  Olive Garden and Coldstone Creamery.  It was very good. 

Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE food.  I love textures, tastes, smells, etc.  I love everything about it.  I love to cook it.  I love for someone else to cook it for me.  I love to cook for others.  I'm good at it.  I can take any recipe and make it better.  I call it my talent.  I LOVE food. 

If there is anyone out there that has any idea how to break this love affair I would "love" to hear your ideas. 

These last couple of weeks have been horrible.  I know that I have failed.  Food has won the short term battles lately.  I have all but given up.  Then I remember why I decided to try to lose the weight to begin with.  I look bad, I feel bad, I have a hard time doing anything.  I am unhealthy.  I would hate to know what my cholesterol is.  I'm sure that I am borderline diabetic.  I probably have high blood pressure.  I know these things yet I still LOVE food. 

HELP!!

Ok....so I'm following a couple of blogs now.  They keep leaving one very important thing out.....how to finance all this healthy food!!!  I wish someone would please show me how to eat healthy on a budget!

Very frustrating!

I QUIT!!

I haven't posted in a few days.  I haven't been very good.  I don't think I will post my menu b/c it contains stuff like Sonic, Chick-fil-a, Schlotzsky's, etc.  You know...no one had to tell me, or even teach me to eat bad.  Why do bad foods taste soooo good?  My conspiracy theory is coming to mind.  If you don't know what that is...read the first post I made. 

I'm not even sure what I want to say today.  I am having such a hard time finding time to exercise.  My life is very hectic right now.  I have one child fixin to graduate.  She is keeping me very busy (not to mention my pocket book empty, too!)  My middle child keeps me running from one town to another to watch football.  My youngest is fixin to start basketball which will keep me busy running too.  After basketball comes then baseball starts.  When baseball ends then summer kicks into full swing with VBS, summer camp, and so on.  I spent good money on a membership and all of the sudden I can't find time to go and use it.  Not sure how to work all this out.

As I mentioned before....I love food.  The bad stuff.  The stuff that makes you fat.  Have I mentioned before that it is cheaper than the good stuff?  If anyone has any ideas on how to feed a family of five healthy foods (all of which are basically adults) I am open for suggestions. 

Trying again tomorrow. 

Blah!!

Yesterday was a bad day.  My youngest and my husband was sick.  My son had a dr. appointment and my oldest took him.  Got a call from the dr. office saying she was too young to bring him.  So, I had to throw on some clothes and get to the dr. office as fast as I could so they wouldn't change his appt.  The dr. spent all of 5 minutes with him just to say he was fine. 

I wanted to throw in the towel.  Didn't have time to go to the gym and I was way too tired to go anyway.  Spent the night before up with the youngest.  I ate more than I should.  Ugh!! 

Breakfast: I don't remember  Lunch: chick-fil-a  Supper: spaghetti  snacks through the day: cashews and sugar free pudding. 

I don't know why it is so hard to keep up with anything.  I love bad food.  I don't care for good food.  This has to be the problem.  I am trying to love good food and hate bad food.  Not working too well at the moment.  I keep up with a blog called Lynn's Weigh.  She was talking about strange food cravings on her facebook page.  All the people talked about good cravings for fruit or veggies.  All I could honestly say that I was craving yesterday was a king size Reeses!  I wanted to stop at the convenience store and pick one up.  Oh, and a Route 44 sweet peach tea!  Not very good choices. 

Today has been some better.  Still want a Reeses and a tea.  So far haven't done too bad. 

Breakfast:  2 eggs, 2 slices of whole wheat toast.  Lunch: 1 porkchop with broccoli and rice au graten.  Supper: Baked potato with pumpernickle bread. 

Tried green tea sweetened with honey this morning.  YUCK!!  Don't know what I am going to find to drink.  I gave up cokes a long time ago but replaced them with sweet tea.  Not as much sugar but still sugar.  I guess I will keep looking.  I like water and I drink it a lot.  But there are some times I need something with a little flavor. 

Going to the gym in a little while.  Waiting for the kids to finish their school.  I hope to have a good workout today.  Maybe I will feel better!

Finally went to the gym.  There were only skinny people in there.  Made me feel uncomfortable.  But...how am I gonna get skinny if I don't go?  I guess I will just have to feel uncomfortable b/c I am trying to lose an extra person!