Friday, April 15, 2011

Some Good But Mostly Bad

Today has started off not so good.  Still in the bed and don't want to get out of it.  It has been a week since my last post and I wanted to let you know how it is going.  OK, I guess.  Some good days but mostly bad.  I look at myself in the mirror and think that isn't me.  I know what I used to look like (pretty hot) and what I look like now (not too hot).  I still think of myself looking like I did when I was a teenager.  I want so badly to look like I view myself, yet the food keeps winning the battle.  Still trying to start.  Have made some changes but not enough to really make a difference. 

The economy is really beginning to take a toll on our pocketbook.  Gas prices has sky rocketed and will begin to filter into the cost of everything.  Not going to help with the grocery bill.  I am just going to have to work with what I have.  I am just going to have to learn portion control.  That is a tough one.  Oh, well.  Anything worth doing.....

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Battles Lost

Well, as you can see, I haven't posted in a long while.  I have lost so many battles since the time I started this blog that I can't even count.  I have all but given up.  I think everyday will be a new start until I walk into the kitchen.  I don't have to have junk food to eat too much.  I just love food.  I want to lose weight by the end of the year.  Still trying to get started and it is now April. 

I tried the Hcg supplement.  Not worth the money.  I know that losing weight isn't going to be easy, however, 500 calories a day is murder.  My daughter and I did it for 2 weeks.  I lost 12 pounds and she lost 7.  This diet isn't sustainable.  Even after losing 12 pounds I didn't feel any different nor did I look any different.  Something wrong with that. 

Looking at Diet Free For Life by Robert Ferguson.  Looks like it could be sustainable.  I'm just afraid to jump in because I'm tired of failing.  The book talks about having a positive attitude about yourself.  This is going to be the hardest of all I think.  When you have failed and failed and failed at dieting you don't have a very good outlook on yourself.  I don't know if this is the answer.  I'm tired of everything saying that it is the answer when it isn't.  All it is is another money making scheme that sucks me in every time.  Trying to take this one slow so as not to get ripped off again. 

Lots of things changing in my life.  My oldest daughter is going to graduate in a month.  Then she is heading off to work summer camp and college in the fall.  Not liking this.  I know my kids will grow up I just didn't think it was going to happen so fast.  What happened to all those years?  Seems like they just disappeared.  Oh well.  My parents survived it.  I suppose I will, too.  I just don't think I'm going to at the moment.  My son turned 15 in January and is now driving.  My youngest daughter turned 12 today.  I no longer have little ones.  They are grown, in a sense.  They don't need me to do anything for them anymore.  They can take care of themselves, literally.  They are good kids I just hope everything their dad and I have taught them sticks. 

I keep telling myself that today is the day.  Maybe tomorrow.....